Why are girls easier to get hurt in hookup culture?

As a column writer for a relationship magazine, I received many emails from girls about no strings attached relationships. Girls describe them as “sort of being with a guy”. In a no strings attached relationship on dating apps, the attitude of the guy might be ambiguous or even worse. At the same time, girls are fall in love with them. So these girls are writing to me trying to get some tips on how to turn this relationship into a more serious one.

These letters concern me. It shows that in the sexual life of girls, they are more incline to hand over themselves as the wish of guys. Guys tend to hook up first and think later. Girls should calm down when they face one night hookup relationships. To keep connection, they will suppress their needs and feelings. When things get complicated and serious, they would leave the decision to guys to make.

There is a book named college culture—tinder hookup and relationship. It is a window for people to get to know hookup without any judge and the challenges young females face nowadays. It is a fascinating book. It reminds me of a girl who once wrote to me. Carol, a college junior student, has a typical story of her own. “First, we started kissing. Without him saying a word, we started a relationship. But what all I thought of is that I want to be his girlfriend. I don’t want to be the one who brought it up and asking what are we, because I know guys hate that question”. Susan slept with that guy for several times and never speak up to her true feelings. This relationship ended up with broken heart.

Girls tend to use self-denial, imagination and other ways to find excuse for themselves and for this relationship. They will lie with themselves and convince themselves that they are in a serious relationship or had once. Actually, they don’t and never had that. You can almost guess how that will end.

What is going on? Is it for the reason that guys rules the hookup culture? More importantly, we are now enjoying the unexpected benefits brought by sexual reform. Young girls are re-decorated to the incarnation of id sexiness and women power. Free sexual notion is deemed as advantage for females. However, during this process, responsibility for their own orgasm turns to the privilege for others.

This is what has been going on in today’s college life. College guys are at the game throne. They are taking control of the intensity of the relationship and make the decision whether a relationship is a serious one and when it might turn into one. If you still don’t understand that, maybe you should call it as a progress for females.